Thursday, June 14, 2012

Sara Raspberry, Public Relations


Hi there! Sara Raspberry, public relations. Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me this afternoon! You’ve got a beautiful office, Mr. Jones. Oh – ok, Glenn. Haha! Boy, how about this weather we’re having? It’s been…just nuts, right? You never know if it’s going to rain or…what! Seriously! I’m like, just what the heck is going on, anyway? Hahahaha!
Is that a picture of your family? Well, your children are just adorable. You must be so proud. How old are they? Oh, my…I just love the name Dakota. It’s so...it’s breathtaking. I went to the Black Hills once and it was…it was, you know…just beautiful. Your daughter is a lucky girl to have such a…such an inspiring name. And how did you come up with your son’s name? Oh! Oh, that’s great. I’ve actually never read The Hobbit.

Ok, so. I suppose I should tell you a bit about why I’m here. First, just for some background…I went to Northwestern where I majored in journalism – go Wildcats. Haha! Graduated top of my class in 2005, and went on to get my Masters in communications management from USC. Public relations is, you know, a really diverse field. I find that I have a lot of opportunities to…you know, meet a lot of people and see what’s really going on out there. It’s been just…great to work with so many amazing organizations over the years. So…yeah! That’s a bit about me. Just so you have some background.

So…the reason I’m here today, Glenn, is because I represent an organization that would really like to partner with you on the construction of the new pediatric cancer center at this hospital. My clients feel really good about…you know, creating that special place for children struggling with cancer to…get well, and, and have a place to really…relax and get the proper care. This hospital has a stellar reputation, and the organization I represent would very much like to create a partnership that could help…bolster their reputation in the community.
Of course, a significant monetary contribution would be made. We understand that Saint Stephen’s has run into some financial difficulties with this project, which, in these economic times, is pretty much par for the course, right? Yeah! So we’d like to offer our financial assistance, which would benefit you and the construction of the pediatric cancer wing, as well as help us as we begin to forge some community partnerships.

Now, I’m not going to mince words, Glenn; my clients have had some difficulties over the years. Unfortunately, there has been a lot of misrepresentation of this organization in the media. A lot of activities and events have been…twisted and misinterpreted. The truth is who are we to judge? You know? I mean, people in glass houses…right? My clients have been erroneously labeled as trouble makers and we’d like to educate the community. We think partnering with Saint Stephen’s is the perfect way to get that started.

Yes, I’ll get to that in a minute, Glenn. But first, I’d like to tell you that sometimes, we hear a brand…or, we hear the name of a brand…you know? And we automatically think of certain words or phrases that go along with that brand. For example…when I hear 'S.E. Johnson', I think 'a family company.' Or when I hear 'McDonald’s', I think 'I’m lovin’ it.' Those are just a few examples of some of the brands that really speak to us, as Americans. But what about when a company or an organization gets associated with negative things over the years, through the actions of a few bad apples? Is that fair? Should the organization be judged based on the media’s relentless smearing of their good name? I don’t think so. I think companies like Enron and Chi Chi’s Restaurants were good, solid companies. But a few minor mistakes and the manipulation of those minor incidents eventually ran them out of business. It’s that kind of mob mentality that my clients have faced for decades. I think that you, being CEO of Saint Stephen’s Hospital, understand what persecution really is.
Do you know much about the patron saint of stonemasons? I didn’t. I’ll admit, I haven’t been to church since my 1st communion, haha! But when my clients were looking for an organization to partner with, I did my research, Glenn.

I understand that, and I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me. But I really think this is important. After all, this hospital is a tribute to Saint Stephen who was stoned to death because the enemies of The Church of Jesus lied, and said he had spoken sinfully against God. But, in truth, Saint Stephen was simply stating his beliefs. He believed that God was the one and true Holy Father, just as my clients believe that the white race is superior to other races.

Just a minute, Glenn; hear me out. Are my client The Imperial Klans of America? Yes. Should we rush to judgement? No. And here’s why. Glenn, if you’ll just let me…ok, Mr. Jones; if you’ll give me two more minutes of your time, I’ll explain why this partnership could work. Yes, my clients have a checkered past. Yes, they do. But if people would open their minds, they’d see an organization that cares about people. They do! They genuinely care about white people all over this country. We understand that your pediatric cancer wing will indeed admit non-white children and you know what? We’re ok with that. Because we don’t hate anyone, Mr. Jones. Cancer affects us all. Our past shouldn’t be a factor in our commitment to end pediatric cancer. The Adopt-A-Highway people didn’t believe we want to clean up litter on our highways, but we do. We want to help people, Mr. Jones.

I really…I really just don’t think that’s relevant. You’re talking about an incident that occurred nearly 50 years ago. How do the murders of civil rights activists allegedly committed by my clients impact their desire to bring an end to childhood cancer? I just don’t see the correlation, Mr. Jones. Ok…ok, there’s no need for that, sir. I’ll leave on my own. But before I go, I’d like to leave you with the words of Saint Stephen himself: ‘Which one of the Prophets did your fathers not persecute, and they killed the ones who prophesied the coming of the Just One, of whom now, too, you have become betrayers and murderers.’
Thank you for your time, Mr. Jones. Here’s my card; you’ll see that I also do some freelance party planning. So if you ever need a hand in that arena, just give me a call.


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