Thursday, May 6, 2010

Open Letter to Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Dear Mrs. Hasselbeck:

Your recent comments about ESPN reporter Erin Andrews were not only stupid, they also came on the heels of two high profile cases of domestic violence events: the murder of Yeardley Love by her ex-boyfriend and the kidnapping of Venus Stewart, allegedly by her estranged husband. You may not think that the stalking of Erin Andrews has much to do with these cases but you're wrong. Then again, you're often wrong. But here is why it was particularly egregious this time.

Women have always been victim/survivors of domestic and sexual violence. Unfortunately, none of this is new. But in just 7 days time, two young women have suffered unbelievable acts at the hands of men who were obsessed with them and obsessed with having power over them. When Michael Barrett targeted Erin Andrews, he violated her privacy, her spirit, her heart and her mind. What he did was extremely similar to the murder of Yeardley Love and the kidnapping and possible murder of Venus Stewart. All of the acts--the murder, the kidnapping and the stalking--were committed by men who felt they had the right to take a woman's power away by any means necessary. This has been happening to women for centuries. It also happens to men but on a much smaller scale.

Victim blaming is also nothing new. Endless research shows that men and women tend to dissect situations of domestic and sexual violence in order to find what the VICTIM did wrong. And no one is perfect--but no one deserves to be abused, no matter what anyone thinks they might have done. But your comments about Ms. Andrews situation suggest that you believe she is in some way encouraging the abuse that has been heaped upon her in recent months. Elizabeth, if all women and men who were victims of stalking and/or abuse stayed home with the shades drawn, there would be very few people out walking around. I applaud Ms. Andrews for taking back her power, for dancing her ass off on national television and for saying, "I'm not going to let the actions of a twisted, broken man stop me from living the most exciting life I can."

During your tearful apology on The View, you mentioned your daughter and how she opened your eyes to what you had done. I'm concerned that it took a 5 year old to explain that to you but let's really drive that point home: I hope that you NEVER have to watch your own daughter deal with the repercussions of stalking and/or sexual or domestic violence. It would tear your heart out. Also, I'd be worried that she had to come to someone with your twisted opinions for advice and comfort.

Now, I also take issue with what you said to your daughter about how Mommy needs to only say positive and nice things to people all the time. Not true. I would suggest that PEOPLE LIKE YOU need to be told how incredibly uneducated, unintelligent and unfeeling they are. I would like to thank you for opening your mouth and speaking on national television every day, just as I thank people like Fred Phelps for exposing who he really is. It's not your fault; you're a product of a misogynistic world. The difference is, you seem to have embraced it.