A while back, I became aware of a concept called unintended consequences. This is what happens when you’re like, “Oh, I have this great idea for something that will totally better this community.” So you gather a task force, have a lot of meetings, draft and re-draft proposals, put on a nice blouse and go before a panel and sell your great idea. You give them all the reasons in the world why this is going to kick ass and they really want to go to lunch, so they’re like, “Yep, sounds great.” So you press the play button and stand there, aghast, as the shit hits the fan.
“But…we wanted to help people, not unleash the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”
The clearest modern day example of this is abstinence only education.
“I have an idea. See, I’m pretty sure kids are having sex because they don’t realize they’ll go straight to hell if they do. So I propose we institute this thing I like to call abstinence-only sex education. I mean, don’t even give them an option. If we take away all knowledge about a subject, they won’t know what to do…so they won’t do anything. Right?”
The point was to scare the living shit out of teenagers by telling them that pre-marital sex only had two outcomes: a scorching, scabby descent into the pits of sexually transmitted infection, or God would strap a screaming, snotting, pooping little person to your hip and life, as you know it, would become infinitely worse than it already is.
That’s it. Nothing else will happen. So just don’t do it.
Now, if I had been in the room, I would have said, “Are you out of your fucking minds?!” Which would have translated into, “I have some concerns. But first I’d like to ask how long this meeting is scheduled for because I’m about to blow this fucker up.” There were plenty of people who rallied against this terrible idea but George W. had a hard on for it and declared it so: all sex education in our schools must be abstinence-only.
So here’s what happened: incidents of STIs and teen pregnancy skyrocketed. Teen pregnancy became such a huge industry that MTV got in on it. Ancient, sleeping sexually transmitted infections came roaring back to life. Seriously, syphilis? I would have been less astounded if Jesus had been a surprise presenter at the Emmys. I worked in STI education for many years and I was sitting in rooms, going, “Syphilis? Am I even here right now?”
Unfortunately, humans have a very high learning curve. And also, this very dangerous group of conservative weirdos has got a whole bunch of us by the balls. So here we go again.
Florida Governor Rick Scott has signed a law that will require all adults applying for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families to submit to a drug test. The law takes effect July 1st. Scott defends the law, saying this will hold people accountable, the money will get to the people who really need it, we shouldn’t be subsidizing people’s drug habits, blah blah blah.
Now, I know what you’re thinking…it’s Florida; they know not what they do. True, the heat does have an impact on one’s ability to think clearly. You may also be thinking, “Gee Dresden, I think that’s totally fair. If you’re going to get a check from the government, I think we need to make sure that you’re not spending it on the meth or the heroin.” But let me tell you why this shit is seriously flawed.
1. Until this country stops feeding damaging, long standing stereotypes, nothing will ever change. Nothing. Imagine, for a minute, that you found yourself in a position where you needed financial aid for your family. To come to this realization is already difficult; it’s embarrassing to say, “I can’t support my family and I need help.” THEN you have to go apply for help at a stuffy, over crowded government office with often unhelpful employees. The person on the other side of the counter is being told to assume you’re a drug addict who intends to let their children starve and smoke all the government’s money all up. This is a fantastic way to treat people struggling with poverty issues. Fantastic.
2. The government is the #1 offender right now when it comes to mismanaging money. I mean, come on. We’re billions and trillions of dollars in debt. The people bailed out the government and now that folks have lost jobs, the government is going to start accusing the people of mismanaging money? The government is going to accuse the people of mismanaging money. Sit with that like a fart in a car for a minute. Smells like shit, doesn’t it?
3. Here are the unintended consequences:
a. Increased violent crime, including murder. An addict will find a way to get drugs, with or without the government’s help. This includes, but is not limited to, robbery, mugging, prostitution, car jacking, etc. Drug related murder is already a thing; if we create more obstacles for desperate people in desperate situations, there will almost surely be an increase in drug related murders.
b. Increased unwanted baby having. Guess how you can get money from the government? By getting knocked up. A giant tax return because I have kids? Shit, it’s even crossed my mind (to be fair, I was drinking at the time). This will result in….
c. More people needing government assistance. As well as….
d. Increased drug and alcohol addition.
e. A whole bunch of other shit we haven't even thought of yet.
But, hey, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this will go off quietly and no one but the ACLU (and me, clearly) will get upset about it. There will definitely be recipients who will gladly pee into a cup in order to get their check. But I think what we forget over and over again is how these laws impact people. People, not money.
These are human beings we’re talking about. Drug addicts are human beings. Everyone is up in arms about the way other governments treat their people. We protest and donate and buy t-shirts; Oprah and Madonna build schools in other countries. All this does is take focus off what is happening in our own country. Arizona, Florida, Wisconsin…the refusal to tax the wealthiest 2% of the population because why? WHY? We’ve let money trump (heh) human beings and it’s only going to get worse. In the past few years, this conservative, fascist agenda has been turned way, way up. And the people who believe in this rhetoric are going to be very surprised when the shit rolls downhill and they discover that the people they followed blindly don’t give a damn whether they live or die.
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