So I'm doing this crazy weight loss thing. We'll call it No Food For You. Because initially, that's kind of what it is. But chugging 64 oz of Crystal Light water helps.
I'm supposed to keep a food journal, which is funny because I'm not actually eating food. So I decided to journal as if I'm at sea.
(to be read in a calm English accented voice, with corncob pipe in hand) The water is calm and crystal clear. There's a sense of glee in the air as my crew--First Mate and Second Mate-- board the ship and prepare for our adventure. They're committed now, no backing out. Our provisions are scarce and must be rationed accordingly. As the sun rises in the West, my First Mate is strong and agile, eager to get our journey started. Second Mate is thankfully quiet; I must admit I'm not looking forward to her negative endless criticism. No...today I feel a sure sense of optimism and energy; as we pull away from the dock, First Mate is at the helm and has selected an appropriate soundtrack: "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want." The brisk morning wind strokes my face as the waters lick the belly of our ship, SS Something's Got to Give.
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