And This Weeks "Oopie Doopie" Award Goes To...

Sooooo...I am as concerned (if not more) as the average person about the children of Haiti. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose one or both parents in a terrifying, devastating earth quake. My heart goes out to each and every one of those children and if I can ever do anything beyond sending donations to the Red Cross, I certainly will.

What I WON'T do is get on an airplane with my church group, arrive in Port-au-Prince and begin rounding up children who may or may not be orphans and start marching them out of their country into a different country, expecting to collect $10,000 per kid. All because GOD TOLD ME TO. What. the. fuck.

Now, I don't know God personally but I'm willing to be that he isn't sitting...wherever...willing his children to do really stupid things. This is all about the arrogance of a group of Christian white folks--from IDAHO, land of 10,000 Nazis-- who decided that it would be best if they took it upon themselves to save the children. If they had been black folks, I would say the same thing. But guess what? Black folks wouldn't do this.

Black folks aren't perfect but due to some historical--and current--events, we generally frown upon taking people's children away. Mostly because it's either been done to us or it's happened to someone we know. Now I'm not saying these people didn't have the most honorable intentions. I mean...I'd like to think they did. But who the hell knows?? Monsters come in many, many forms and as we've all learned in the last 10 years, people who traffic children, rape children and systematically abuse children for years are generally a) white and b) claim religion as their defense.

I can see the meeting in the church basement now....
"We've got to go to Haiti and help those poor children!"
"You're right, Laura. God would want us to."
"What can we do? I'll do anything to help!"
"That's because you're a good Christian woman. I say we fly to Haiti, round up those poor orphaned children and take them to...I don't know...the Dominican Republic? Any place would be better than the hell they're living in now."
"Absolutely. It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, the country is a mess right now. I'm sure those poor AIDS stricken devastated black people would REALLY APPRECIATE us with all our money, bibles and whiteness coming in and just taking control of the situation."
"Sure, we'll just tell them God told us to."
"Oh, and p.s., this couldn't come at a better time because I'm totally broke and could really use the money."

What's that you say?? The church leader who cooked up this willy nilly idea is broke?! Yes, that's right, ladies and gentleman. Laura Silsby is notorious in Idaho for being the Princess of Unpaid Wages and Home Foreclosures. She is also the church group leader. 88 kids at $10,000 a pop is a lot of money, certainly enough to get Ms. Silsby out of debt and off Idaho's shit list.

But...oopie doopie, not so fast. It turns out that the Haitian government was just getting real serious about protecting children from predators who thrive in these kind of situations. It begs the question: whose side was God on? When he put out the "save the children" call, maybe he was trying to save them from YOU.

Let me know how Haitian jail is. I'm sure it's lovely this time of year.

And the First Weekly WTF Award Goes To....

Paul Warner Powell, Virginia Death Row Inmate.

I'm not normally one to campaign for another human being's death, although I will admit I felt a twinge of disappointment when Rush Limbaugh told everyone he was in good health. But for real...THIS GUY...is not only an evil piece of shit, he is also REALLY, REALLY STUPID.

Apparently murderer/rapist/total waste of space Paul Powell saw the movie Double Jeopardy and while he was surely entranced by Ashley Judd's performance, he also gathered a little legal advice. Thinking he couldn't be re-tried for the same crime, Smarty McBrainy wrote a letter to the County Attorney in which he confessed, in great detail, that killing 16-year old Stacie Reed and brutally raping and attempting to kill her 14-year old sister was no accident and that he in fact planned to kill the entire family. Why? Because Stacie Reed wouldn't have sex with him. Oh, and she was dating a black man.

So then when Brainiac Jones decided to appeal his death sentence, the prosecutor gave the Supreme Court not only his letter to the County Attorney, which you can read here (starting at the bottom of page 7), they were also given copies of a letter he sent to his victims' mother (a taunting note attached to a cut out of a pornographic photo of a woman who resembled her murdered daughter) AND a note he sent to a friend who he asked to call his surviving victim and threaten her life if she moved forward to testify against him.

GENIUS.

Congratulations Paul Powell, Virginia Death Row Inmate. You win my first WTF Award. Just for being YOU.